Carlos Alazraqui
Deputy James Garcia

Mary Birdsong
Deputy Cherisha Kimball

Robert Ben Garant
Deputy Travis Junior

Kerri Kenney
Deputy Trudy Wiegel

Thomas Lennon
Lieutenant Jim Dangle

Wendi McLendon-Covey
Deputy Clementine Johnson

Niecy Nash-Betts
Deputy Raineesha Williams

Cedric Yarbrough
Deputy S. Jones

Lennie Loftin
Chief of Police

Danny DeVito
District Attorney

Alejandra Gutierrez
Miss Acapulco

Brandon Molale
Kevlar Guy

Kathryn Fiore
Cheyenne the Helicopter Model

David Koechner
Sheriff of Aspen

Dave Holmes
Persnickety Desk Worker

Patton Oswalt
Jeff Spoder

Toby Huss
Glen the Desk Clerk

Cathy Shim
Spring Break Dream Girl

Ian Roberts
Captain Rogers, DHS

Chris Tallman
Alligator Expert

Paul Rudd
Ethan the Drug Lord

Marisa Petroro
Drug Lord's Girlfriend

Kyle Dunnigan
Drug Lord's First Hostage

David Wain
Breen the Plumber

Todd Holoubek
Tattooed Guy

Michael Patrick Jann
Tattoo Shop Owner #1

Nick Swardson
Terry

Brian T. Finney
Decontamination Guy

Irina Voronina
Russian Model

Steve Little
Drug Lord's Second Hostage

Joe Lo Truglio
Tattoo Shop Owner #2

Ken Marino
Deaf Tattoo Artist

Kevin Allison
Tattoo Victim

Eric Price
Wrestling Referee

David Veach
Dangle's "Body Double"

Michael Ian Black
Ron of Ron's Tattoo

Michael Showalter
Paul

Mindy Sterling
Spoder's Mom

Matthew Budds
Clapping Cop

Paul Reubens
Sir Terrence

Jack Plotnick
Steve Marmella

Oscar Nuñez
Jose Jose Jose

Floyd Van Buskirk
Proctologist

Jason Bartley
Mansion Gunman (uncredited)

Tracy Dali
Bike Cop (uncredited)

Rico Devereaux
Smoking Cop (uncredited)

Dwayne Johnson
Rick Smith, S.W.A.T. (uncredited)

Theresa Joy
Roller Babe (uncredited)

Kent Kasper
Alabama State Trooper (uncredited)

Alyssa LeBlanc
Stripper (uncredited)

J. P. Manoux
Naked Armenian (uncredited)

Jill-Michele Meleán
Southern Spring Breaker (uncredited)

JT Mollner
Newspaper Reporter (uncredited)

Aaron Takahashi
Japanese Tourist (uncredited)

Jason Williams
Police Officer (uncredited)

Jaime Zevallos
Police Officer (uncredited)