Norm Macdonald
Willard Fillmore

Dave Chappelle
Rusty P. Hayes

Danny DeVito
Grover Cleaver

Elaine Stritch
Miss Crock

Daniel Benzali
Detective Tom Dewey

Sherman Hemsley
Chip Oswald

Sarah Silverman
Hillary

Malcolm Stewart
Roger

Lochlyn Munro
Officer Richardson

Brent Butt
Buddy

Anthony Harrison
Buddy

Brian Arnold
News Anchorman

Lorena Gale
Angry Momma

Mark Acheson
Mr. Kettle

Ken Kirzinger
Cop

Camille Sullivan
Flower Shop Clerk

Tom Heaton
Morgue Janitor

Tygh Runyan
Cussing Guy

April Telek
News Reporter