Anna Faris
Cindy Campbell

Simon Rex
George

Anthony Anderson
Mahalik

Charlie Sheen
Tom

Regina Hall
Brenda Meeks

Leslie Nielsen
President Baxter Harris

Kevin Hart
CJ

Jeremy Piven
Ross Giggins

Pamela Anderson
Becca

Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg
Kate

Denise Richards
Annie

Elaine Klimaszewski
Elaine

Diane Klimaszewski
Diane

Drew Mikuska
Cody

Jianna Ballard
Sue

George Carlin
Architect

Queen Latifah
Aunt Shaneequa / The Oracle

Eddie Griffin
Orpheus

Camryn Manheim
Trooper Champlin

Marny Eng
Tabitha

Timothy Stack
Carson Ward

Darrell Hammond
Father Muldoon

Dexter Bell
Toilet Guy

Doron Bell
Rapper #2

Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell

Fat Joe
Fat Joe

Ajay Naidu
Sayaman

William S. Taylor
Mr. Meeks

Patricia Idlette
Mrs. Meeks

Frank C. Turner
Mr. Meek's Brother

Lori Stewart
Tabitha's Mother

Edward Moss
MJ

Dee Jay Jackson
Zubie

D.L. Hughley
John Wilson

Ja Rule
Agent Thompson

Macy Gray
Macy Gray

Redman
Redman

Method Man
Method Man

Raekwon
Raekwon

RZA
RZA

U-God
U-God

Troy Yorke
Alien #1

Marco Soriano
Alien #2

Byron Chief-Moon
Native American #2

John Hainsworth
Tracheotomy Man

Beverley Breuer
Tracheotomy Wife

Eric Breker
Secret Serviceman Jones

Master P
P Masters

Debbie Lee Carrington
Mini Tabitha (uncredited)